Friday, May 2, 2008

Crying on the way to the bank

It’s raining outside my window this morning, a good light rain that helps growth.
It was raining tears at Exxon-Mobile Wednesday, the kind of rain that can only come from a poorer-than-expected growth, no, not a loss but a lower-than-expected profit.
It was with sadness that Exxon-Mobile announced a measly 10.8 billion dollar gain.
That’s correct. It was a paltry 10.8 BILLION dollar profit.
Let us all say that, shall we? 10.8 BIL-L-L-L-ION-N-N-N dollars.
Where I worked prior to here, we once had a record setting 1.3 million dollar year profit.
1.3 million – 10.8 BIL-L-L-L-L-L-ION-N-N-N-N, oh yeah, I can clearly see why Exxon-Mobile is in tears over this. And I’m sure all Americans can relate and now know that even the oil companies are suffering at the cost of $100+ barrels of oil and realize why we must carry the burden of higher and higher fuel cost.
10.8 BILLION! Screw them.
We have a worldwide food shortage where more and more millions of people go hungry and more and more grain is being sold as a commodity while it is being turned into “Bio-Fuel” to help America’s appetite for fuel and gas guzzling cars and Exxon-Mobile cries over lower-than-expected profit.
Ahhh,but the hungry need not worry as the champion of the poor has rushed to their aid. That’s right, our President, our Mr. Wonderful, George “Sister Teresa” Bush has requested $770 million for world food relief from congress. That certainly will take the burden off of those starving peasants we are forced to witness on our nightly news.
Yes indeed, if you divide that amount among all those hungry folk it works out to be around 5/8 of penny each. Unfortunately with the dip in the dollar’s value it ends up being a bit shy of a hay-penny or “not quite enough” to buy an Egyptian penny loaf of bread.
And of course we know that congress will just jump to pass this request since Mr. Bush attached it to another very popular spending measure, the $70 billion additional funding for the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. (Can you see where this one’s going? “It’s all congress’s fault. I asked them for the money and they refused to consider it.”)

Oh-h-h-well, so much for the ranting, it tends to wear on me.

This weekend is shaping up to be a memorable one, even with the rain.
I’d advise anyone to get out to Arlington Mass and head to the Regent Theater on Sunday for a great time of comedy. The Ding-Ho alumni will be holding a benefit reunion for Bob Lazarus who survived a leukemia battle but isn’t out of the woods yet.

The Porsche is up and running fine with it’s new suspension and ol’ Bart is looking forward to me figuring a way for him to get his furry ass in it to go for a bit of a ride.

You all take care and put on a little Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown to get the weekend started.

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