Saturday, March 29, 2008

And the award goes to...

It’s time for the First Annual F_U Awards.

And since we don’t have a lot of time for pomp and circumstance let’s get right down to it.

Our first F_U goes out to Wal-Mart, the corporation that has Snidely Whiplash envious, a fine group of Arkansas businessman who has shown so little compassion for their employees that if Mother Jones were around today she would rally against them.
But it is the latest doings of this corporation that really put them over the top in the running.
It seems that Wal-mart has sued one of its former employees to recover medical insurance coverage used after she was involved in an auto accident.

Debbie Shank, 52, suffered severe brain damage after a traffic accident in 2000. The Wal-Mart employee received about $470,000 from the retailer's health plan for medical expenses, but the company has sued to get the payout back.
Two years after the accident, Shank and her husband, Jim, were awarded about $1 million in a lawsuit against the trucking company involved in the crash. After legal fees were paid, $417,000 was placed in a trust to pay for Debbie Shank's long-term care.

Wal-Mart had paid out about $470,000 for Shank's medical expenses and later sued for the same amount. However, the court ruled it can only recoup what is left in the family's trust.

Wal-Mart spokesman John Simley replied in a statement: "Wal-Mart's plan is bound by very specific rules. ... We wish it could be more flexible in Mrs. Shank's case, but this is done out of fairness to all associates who contribute to, and benefit from, the plan."

So for sticking to its guns in the name of “fairness for all” I give you this award... F_U Wal-Mart!

Our next F_U goes to unrelenting callousness, a man so empty of soul there is only one word to describe him, and fortunately he is used to hearing it because it’s his name. Ladies and gentleman can I get a big F_U for “DICK” CHENEY-Y-Y-Y. F_U Dick!

Our last F_U goes out to man who has no mental equal, a man capable of turning wine into vinegar and sugar into salt. This man, whose proud lineage can be traced back directly to the Juke Clan, showed us that no matter how stupid a person is they can rise above it all, become president and fuck-up the entire country while alienating the whole planet. So last but not least, F_U George Bush.

Well we're out of time so, Good Night Everybody.

And with his good dog at his side (silently pooting) we bid our writer adieu.

(Ya' happy now?)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Pretty funny